Standing up Against Micro-aggressions in Your Life

A public address

Let me talk about microaggressions and how to take a stance against them and the perpetrators who commit them in your life. If you aren't familiar with the term "microaggression," it is a brief commonplace daily verbal, behavioral, or environmental indignity that communicate hostile, derogatory, or harmful prejudicial slights and insults toward any individual or group.

Some common groups include people of color, women, older people, individuals with disabilities, members of the LGBTQ community, immigrants, and any marginalized ethnic group. It means that the person who engages in this type of behavior does not respect a demographic group, and the comments are rooted in stereotypes, prejudice, and bigotry. There are three categories under microaggression's umbrella. They are microinsult, microinvalidation, and microassault.

First, Microinsults are slights or offenses—even though the perpetrator feels like they are offering someone a compliment—when, in reality, they insult them. For example, in the classroom, when an instructor only calls on white males and ignores the female students, consistently mispronounces a student’s name after repeated correction by the student, assigning tests during religious or cultural holidays, and assigning projects that disregard the students’ socio-economic status. Many times, an instructor will assume that everyone in the class is heterosexual. Rudeness at this level shows that the perpetrator of the microinsult does not respect a specific demographic.

Comments such as, “You don’t seem like a black person. You are articulate, smart, and you are not intimidating.” Or “You are pretty to be a black girl.” “Your English is quite good.” Here is one of my favorites; it’s my favorite because at least two different people said this to me in my life. I quote. “I thought you were a blonde.” I still get this one. Now, my answer to that comment is, “I colored my hair. What do you think?” I give this response to stand up to the insulting comment. The individual who delivered the microinsult apologizes and insists they didn’t mean anything personal by it. In microinsults, the perpetrator thinks they rendered you a compliment, as they smile in your face, rather than an insult.

When I attended New School for Social Research in New York City, my instructor never called on me even when I raised my hand first. He always looked at and answered white males’ questions and comments. I noticed it almost immediately. It left me feeling invisible, like I was not part of the class, or my words didn’t matter. At the time, I didn’t know what it was or how to address it. Eventually, I faded into the abyss and stopped raising my hand. Had I known about microinvalidations, I would have spoken to my instructor after class.

Second, microinvalidation is a comment or action that dismisses the experiences of historically disadvantaged groups. In the case of my instructor, he used action or inaction to ignore me and my words in the classroom. Teachers and college professors are guilty of this. Here is a big one, “There is no such thing as white privilege,” “being colorblind,” or “I don’t see color.” Others include, “I don’t notice your race,” “I was in the Peace Corps,” “Racism doesn’t exist anymore,” or “I love Diana Ross and Oprah Winfrey” are vivid examples of microinvalidations. These are negative ways of saying, “I’m not prejudiced. I love Black people; in fact, I celebrate their blackness.” Once I heard someone say, “I am the white Oprah because I like to talk and discuss things.” Now, why couldn’t she be herself­­—a person who enjoys open dialog? Why does she have to be a Caucasian version of Oprah? Especially when there is no such thing. Why insult Winfrey, African Americans, and other marginalized groups? These types of invalidation’s sting, penetrate one’s soul, and leave lasting scars on the victim’s heart.

Lastly, a microassault is a conscious and deliberate action akin to blatant prejudice, not to be confused with microinsult. Some examples include calling someone a racial epithet, drawing or hanging Swastikas, nooses, or waving Confederate flags in plain sight, and more. In other words, it is brazen verbal assaults like these that keep racial hatred alive and thriving.

What do you do when you hear or experience a microaggression? One suggestion is to call it out and name it. Then, address it immediately, similar to how I handled “I thought you were a blonde.” Remember, everyone wants to be accepted as an individual, not as a group. Taking the time to get to know people outside of your comfort zone is the beginning of facing microaggressions and dealing with them. Melody Hobson, the president of Ariel Investments, suggests that we get “comfortable with being uncomfortable.”

There is nothing wrong with seeing a person’s race, ethnicity, acknowledging that their first language may not be English, accepting their sexual orientation, and more. However, let’s all stand up against microaggressions anytime we experience them. Taking a stance is not a hostile answer but rather an educated one designed to stop microaggressions in their tracks while educating the perpetrators about their hostile, insulting, and harmful comments. Let's be mindful of micro aggressions and avoid them in daily conversions. No individual or group wants to insulted. Instead, let's accept and celebrate everyone for who they are as individuals.